Elon Musk: Evil Genius or Lazy Bond Villain?
Every spy in the world knows what's happening here. Some bad ones are going to help him, but most of us are going to fight him like hell.
Elon Musk’s $44 billion hostile takeover of Twitter opened a literal Pandora’s box in the name of “free speech.” In my opinion there is much, much more to the story of why he did it. However, all Bond villains have complex plans for world domination so flawed that even martini soaked British spies routinely stop them. This one is no different.
So, what is Musk’s ultimate goal? What is the end goal in his Pinky and the Brain-based plan for world domination? Simply put, all he wants for his efforts is admiration … and cash. Not from you, dear reader. Nay, you’re like me; just a peon who has to get up every day to work to eat. No, no, no he wants pure admiration and love. The kind of love that Margerie Taylor Green feels when she sees a swastika or Vladimir Putin feels when he gets videos of the look on his enemies’ faces as they’re pushed out of skyscraper windows. Real love. Ride or Die love. The delicious schadenfreude filled love of denying people something they really, really want - or need to survive. Yes, Musk wants the love, not of a woman or family, he wants the love felt with pride and received through admiration of only the richest, vilest and most despotic people in the world. He also knows he is about to get it for what he is about to do to liberals, people of color and the poor who have the nerve to oppose his admirers. He will deliver revenge against anyone who crosses his lovers. Real revenge.
Of course the global oligarchy wants revenge against those equal justice and equality loving scum what with their filthy morals, courage and ethics. But there are those pesky opinions of the unwashed that gang together and make them look bad. Then they use democracy and vote against the oligarchy’s rights to be as awful as the laws allow and then some. What with Ukraine’s Zelensky humiliating Moscow by no allowing him the total Stalin-like pleasure to erase of Ukrainian people, language and culture from history, and handsome Joe Biden showing the world what tough grandpa with an old shotgun and folksy humor can do to a band of political rustlers, and how Lula da Silva of Brazil just toppled the Trump of the South in an actual free and fair election. Its just awful! This cannot go on.
Now that Donald Trump proved that riches, ignorance and authoritarianism is what le peuple really want they must fight the great unwashed for the right to suppress them. The oligarchy needed a hero who would slay liberalism and democracy in single combat. Battle of the Centuries: The Oligarch’s champion versus Democracy. Winner takes all.
And up jumps the devil. Pasty doughboy, Elon Musk has come forth and will put an end to the plague of popular opinion once and for all. So, what kind of nefarious plan can he execute shy of using Space X to launch his secret ocean boiling Nazi space laser? How can he deliver to earn such accolades? Well, let’s not kill Hamlet in the first act. I will get to his evil plans in a moment but first let’s take a look at how in less than two Scaramucci’s, the world’s largest megaphone has turned into a virtual piss covered bathroom wall at a third-rate gulf coast strip club.
Musk started off his assault on decency by opening the cages at Twitter to create global bedlam. Secret evil genius plans almost always call for the news media to be filled with sensational stories while the earth raping secret organization plots to divide up the rest of the planet. We just never notice them in their mega yachts or island volcano lairs because the world is going straight to hell in a Chinese produced authentic Wizard of Oz handbasket. I mean, chaos is just a standard. So, Musk unleashed the worst opponents of American-democratic norms. He opened all the doors to give voice to people who literally called for the violent overthrow of legitimate governments, reveled in actual killings of detractors and hosanna’d all those who publicly praise straight up Nazis white supremacy and hatred of the Jews. Once the monkeys were out of the cages, he essentially backed up a truck of bananas and whisky and let the mischievous chaos play out as it surely would. He encouraged these horrible people by retweeting their deranged threads, elevated terrible individuals and pushed antisemitic memes that resulted in a direct attack on the voices of reason and civil discourse. Musk says he had to order that the worst personalities in the world be re-platformed because they had a right to “free speech” as much as the next guy. Never mind that speech has led to death and destruction. It’s a human right!
Within weeks of his purchase Musk then exposed the private messages of former Twitter employees to reveal a Hunter Biden story that was kept offline for good reason. He gave orders to make a big deal out of it. He opened Twitters internal communications and gave apparently unlimited access to two disgraced, has-been reporters; Matt Taibbi and Bari Weiss. Musk hired them to go through the messages of former Twitter staff to hunt for dirt. What amazing revelation did they come up with? They found links to photos of Hunter’s penis and shared them gleefully with the world. Yes, that’s right. Photos of his junk. That’s the story.
Musk now loudly proclaims that Twitter’s previous management helped throw the 2020 election to democrats, whom he hates. He believes that it was only fair for him to throw it back to Republicans in 2024. The surmise is that his intrepid reporters proved Hunter’s cock was solely responsible for Trump losing the 2020 election.
Musk has made it clear he intends to make Twitter a platform for not just conservatives but conservative extremists. What he wants those extremists to do is be just that – extreme. Oh, he never says this out loud … because he just does it and laughs in your face.
Of course, Musk’s intrepid team of dick-pic hunters didn’t find anything more salacious other than the fact that Twitter, at the time a public corporation that behaved responsibly, did not want to plaster the reproductive organs of a private citizen all over the world. But Musk wanted exactly that. The Weiss-Taibbi duo did find that Twitter, for legal reasons could not allow Nazi speech and hate speech to go without content moderation, especially in Europe. Just as Twitter had been doing for nearly two decades. Musk then apparently forgot he fired every one of those employees who were hired to protect the company’s brand from sexual predators, random penis insertions and child molesters. Hoo boy! Evil genius or evil penis? You decide.
Right now, it may appear Musk spent $44 billion to literally troll the liberals. But that is not why he coughed up so much dough. He has a secret agenda, but it is a poorly hidden one.