How White Men Really Fight … Tucker Carlson’s Mob Murder Fantasy.
When I wrote “They Want to Kill Americans” little did I suspect “They” would wear Salmon Pink Pants and Rock Paisley Bow Ties.
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In Mike Judge’s famous movie-turned-documentary “Idiocracy” there is a scene where the protagonist, Joe Bauers, a former US Army clerk who is flung into the future is escaping from the police with his “lawyer”, Frito Pendejo in a small, slow electric car. When the car is disabled, they flee on foot. However, in a dysfunctional America 500 years in the future the police are pretty much like they are today they open fire without warning and riddle the vehicle with hundreds of bullets. This shooting immediately draws an excited crowd. Then the cops start using rockets and missiles (one of which accidentally shoots down an airliner). The crowd then turns into a mob who start jumping up and down, excitedly grunting and whooping like apes. Fights break out. The excitement of the police making loud noises and destroying things even overrides the lawyer who turns around and starts grunting and hooting… even though it’s his car being destroyed, and he is supposed to be dead in it.
This is the precise scene that popped into my head when I heard that the red line for Tucker Carlson was not the hundreds of racially inflammatory statements he had made over the years. It was when Carlson described an encounter he saw on video between three MAGA men who were beating an “Antifa type”. Carlson first expressed disgust at witnessing the incident he called ‘dishonorable”. He also seemed to think that the genial Marquess of Queensberry rules had been violated by the shocking melee. Perturbed, he exclaimed, “That’s not how white men fight!”
Really? Let us do a thought experiment. I want you to momentarily set aside your disbelief that Tucker McNair Carlson, a scion of the Swanson TV dinner dynasty, has ever been in a fight more severe than throwing multicolored water balloons at his friends in Kennebunkport. It is possible that he once closed his eyes and gesticulated both arms in front of himself, floppily flailing the tips of his fingers in a hilariously feeble attempt to simulate a wave of slaps at someone named Chip or Chad or Binky brought on by a disastrous Gin and Tonic spill. As amusing as it sounds, this is how Tucker Carlson most likely thought white men fight. No wonder he expressed shock and dismay that the rough and tumble trucker like MAGA went three-on-one to beat on the man.
However, where the lawyers at Fox News likely saw the writing on the wall was the next statement “Suddenly I found myself rooting for the mob against the man, hoping they’d hit him harder, kill him. I really wanted them to hurt the kid. I could taste it.”